Their bodies and minds are not just growing, they are, in fact, quite different! The best illustration is perhaps that of the butterfly which starts life as a caterpillar, becomes a cocoon, finally to emerge as a butterfly. Hidden, out of view, a magnificent transformation is taking place that the carapace gives no indication of.

While this challenging process is occuring, most children do not behave according to expectations. That sweet, loving child, who looked up at you with adoration and trust is replaced by a silent, gloomy self-preoccupied impostor, or a critical, rude angry stranger! Or may be both extremes are present in your adolescent. Others are anxious, absent, energiless – you name it! Just remember, your child’s strange and disturbing behaviour
probably conceals normal development.

Having said that, however, approximately 25% of school-aged children, at any given time, are in some sort of psychological or emotional turmoil and may need a little help both to overcome the problem, and to develop skills that could help them overcome their problems on their own in the future. If the problem is ignored, the danger of it resurfacing later and causing much greater strain is increased (see below). A neutral and open
counsellor is a useful ally to have at such times.

Sometimes unusual conduct may indicate warped development. It is not always easy to judge when normal behaviour becomes abnormal behaviour. We parents, either cannot find help, or fall into the arms of denial. However, the earlier caught, the greater the chance of derailing the trend of negative development. Early treatment also has a higher chance of being effective.

The most common problems among children and youth.
To name but a few :
• alcohol or drug use/abuse to stress and post traumatic stress reactions
• grief/loss reactions to worry, insecurity, low self esteem
• hyperactivity and concentration problems to autistic behaviour, learning/reading disabilities
• mobbing to • loneliness and exclusion

Is there any hope?
The crisis can be sparked when a child learns the wrong lesson. It is important to understand that children change once they are supported adequately. Among children, there is no“gone case”! They can benefit from treatment, communication or structural interventions that will permit them to reach their highest potential. They will also make surprising progress as soon as a system of positive reinforcement is constructed around them. Children want to make you proud.

What can one do?
Consult with a psychologist to find ways to help, or communicate with, your child. (S)he can be helpful in identifying the structures that might maintain unwanted behaviours, as well as any psychological, evelopmental or neurological disorder that might explain the same. (S)he can:

• set a diagnosis,
• s uggest and initiate appropriate interventional strategies and/or treatment options,
• evaluate progress,
• effectuate follow-up programmes for your child within his or her normal environments.

Once we know what is making life difficult for your child, we can work on a solution.

A clinical psychologist, experienced in dealing with children and youths, schools and families, does the following:

Observes children at home and school, to find their strengths and weaknesses, in order to work with both.

Observes interaction and communication between children and significant adults, to discover what might unconsciously maintain or even increase unwanted behaviour.

Applies methods of psycho-education to inform, explain and support families through crisis.

Tests and assesses children to define areas of ability (or difficulty).

Creates programmes for the child at school and at home, which allow for integration and structure,
while also allowing for evaluation of input.
offers therapy, support, guidance and consultation to children, their parents and teachers - individually or in groups. offers support and guidance to parents and teachers through lectures, seminars, consultancy and workshops.

Is this child normal?
• Are you a parent, or a teacher?
• Is your child causing you to wonder? Or is there is a child in your class that you are uncertain about?
• Children can behave in strange ways. But worrisome behaviour is usually short-lived. Some behaviours, however, are symptoms of something else. Can you tell the difference?
• What if a child’s normal adjustment, communication or learning, is hindered?
• What if your child is socially, emotionally and/ or intellectually special?
• What if your child is unhappy, aggressive or shy?

Can anything be done?
• With the help of professional observation and testing, enough information can be gathered to allow for an assessment of the child’s resources and abilities.
• Once the child’s resources have been identified, they are instrumental in the provision of relevant and concrete interventions for the child.
• It provides the parent/teacher with an awareness of the child’s strengths, rather than its weaknesses.
• Strengths are elements that can be built upon, and therefore, offer optimal learning possibilities. Focus on weaknesses only tend to confirm to the child that (s)he is flawed.
• Expectations are normalised and the child can develop to his or her full potential, making for a win-win situation.
• Knowledge of these resources can also be of benefit when advising a child on a future career or path.
• Awareness of the child’s abilities can eliminate or confirm a diagnosis. It can also clearly indicate which child has high abilities but low motivation. And why.

Problems of behaviour among children can be symptoms of:
• Autism – Asperger’s
• Concentration problems (ADD) and impulsivity (ADHD)
• Conduct disorder
• Drugs and alcohol use or abuse
• Learning disabilities – Dyslexia
• Affective Disorders depression, mania, anxiety (e.g. General anxiety, Obsessive compulsive disorder, social phobia, agoraphobia, panic disorder, PTSD and separation anxiety, etc)
• Anorexia, bulimia, Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD),
• Boredom, low self esteem, lack of purpose. In such circumstances, a psychologist with experience with children could be of help.